The Biggest Myth in Time Management

Brad* is as hard a worker as anyone I know. He's not just busy, he's keenly focused on getting the right things done. And it pays off — he is the largest single revenue generator at his well-known professional services firm.

A few days before Thanksgiving, Brad flew from Boston to Los Angeles with his family. He was going to work for the first few days and then relax with his family. During the flight, he decided not to use the plane's internet access, choosing to talk and play with his children instead. A five-hour digital vacation.

When they landed, Brad turned on his BlackBerry and discovered that a crisis had developed while he was in the air and he had close to 500 email messages waiting for him.

So much for a digital vacation.

The truth is, we can't ever really get away from it. There is no escaping the nonstop surge of email, text, voicemail, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn — and that's just the technology-based stream. How can we ever catch up?

We can't.

The idea that we can get it all done is the biggest myth in time management. There's no way Brad can meaningfully go through all his email and there's no way any of us are going to accomplish everything we want to get done.

Face it: You're a limited resource.

Each day only has 24 hours and we can't sustainably work through all of them.
On the one hand, that's depressing. On the other hand, acknowledging it can be tremendously empowering. Once we admit that we aren't going to get it all done, we're in a much better position to make explicit choices about what we are going to do. Instead of letting things haphazardly fall through the cracks, we can intentionally push the unimportant things aside and focus our energy on the things that matter most.

There are two main challenges in doing the right things: identifying "the right things" and "doing" them.

Most of us manage our time reactively, making choices based on the needs that land on our desks. To determine the "right things," we need to make deliberate choices that will move us toward the outcomes we most want. Which, of course, also means that we need to make deliberate choices about what not to do. The world will take what it can from us. It's never been more important to be strategic about what we choose to give it.

In terms of the second challenge — "doing" or following through — we need tools and rituals. We need an environment that makes it more likely that we will do the things that matter most and less likely that we will waste our time with meaningless, unproductive diversions. We need to know how to prioritize properly, delegate deliberately, tabulate to-do lists, and mitigate multi-tasking.

But which tools work best? Which rituals will help us follow through? If you spend all your time discovering and using all the advice you get from me and others, it could become a distraction to the work itself. Here's a process to help you avoid turning time management into another excuse to procrastinate on your most important priorities.

1. Think for a moment about the time-management problems you face. Do you leave the office with a nagging feeling that you worked all day but didn't get your most important work done? Do you feel like you aren't taking advantage of your talents and passions? Are you distracted by little things? Avoiding big hairy projects? Do you interrupt yourself with email and other distractions? Try taking this three-minute quiz to discover where you are distracting yourself the most.
2. Once you've identified your biggest time-management challenges, choose a single one to tackle. Maybe you're not clear on your "right things." Maybe you use the wrong rituals. Maybe you strive for perfection. Pick the challenge that most often gets in your way. Then choose one time-management tactic to solve that challenge — just one of the many good suggestions you've encountered here and elsewhere.
3. If that tactic works, repeat the process with another challenge. If it doesn't, try a new tactic. Continue to approach things this way, one at a time, so you can be sure what works for you and what doesn't.

Brad, overwhelmed by his hundreds of emails, put his BlackBerry away and did nothing until he arrived in his hotel room. Then, using his laptop, he triaged his now more than 500 emails based on what he knew were his most important priorities, answering the ones he needed to and deleting the majority of them. Within an hour, he was done. He shut his laptop, left his BlackBerry in his room (gasp!), and enjoyed a fun, chaos-filled dinner with his family, which, at that time, was precisely the right thing for him to do.

*Names and some details have been changed

How to Start the Big Project You've Been Putting Off

I want to write a screenplay.

I wanted to write one last year, but other work took more time than I expected, and I kept pushing "write screenplay" off my to-do list.

I know I'm not alone in struggling to make incremental progress on long-term projects or goals. How do you get started when you have "all the time in the world"?

Maybe you have a project with no deadline, like my screenplay. Or maybe you have a deadline that's months away — like preparing a speech, developing a business plan, or designing a training program. Perhaps you have a habit of procrastinating on projects with generous schedules until "next month" is "next week" and suddenly your long-term project has morphed into a panicky, short-term stress-inducing nightmare?

Doing something big and important is rarely as simple as just getting it done. Often we don't know how to start and, even when we do, we rarely already have all the knowledge and capability we need to see it through. Also, we almost always have more urgent things to do and so we push off long-term goals.

I know the basic advice: break the work into smaller, more manageable chunks, focus on the next small step that will move you forward, set intermediate deadlines.

It's good advice. But, in my experience, it's not enough.

Because, ultimately, the reason we procrastinate on a big, long-term project isn't just because we have too much time or don't know where to start. And it's certainly not because we think it's not important. In fact, it's the opposite.

We procrastinate on that big project precisely because it's important. So important, in fact, that we're too scared to work on it.

I've never written a screenplay. I don't know how to format it. I don't know how to structure the story. I don't even know the story I want to tell.

I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll fail. That I'll spend a lot of time on it — while other more immediate things don't get done — and it will be terrible, anyway.

I'm also afraid of the opposite: That I'll just dream about it but never actually work on it. Which, paradoxically, discourages me from starting it. If I'm never going to get it done, why start?

My screenplay isn't just mundane work; it's work I care deeply about. Almost all big projects fit into that category — even the report your boss asked for that you might think you don't care about. That's because a big project is a mirror. It reflects your thoughts and effort and even character. It has your signature on it. Failure in a long-term project isn't just a work issue; it's an identity issue. Is it any wonder that we procrastinate?

So what's the antidote?

Don't ignore your fear. Acknowledge it. As soon as you know you're going to give that speech or design that training program, take a quiet moment and experience the fear that comes with the importance of the project. Maybe you're afraid of getting up in front of all those people to give your speech. Maybe you're afraid of failing in your new business. Maybe you're afraid that your training design will expose how much you don't know. Maybe you're afraid of letting other people down.

Resist the temptation to minimize your anxiety. That's a false macho response and it lacks courage. It's also counterproductive; it gives power to the fear, almost guaranteeing that it will haunt you and prevent your progress.

Here's why acknowledging your fear works: You're scared because you expect a lot from yourself and you're afraid you'll underperform. When you acknowledge that fear, you're acknowledging that you might not have all that it takes to meet your expectations; you might not have all the tools, information, skills, etc. Admitting that, in turn, reduces your expectation of getting it perfect right off the bat.

And lowering your expectation of getting it right is the key to getting it started.

Acknowledging your fear also serves another, crucial purpose: it informs you. By recognizing that you don't have all the tools, information, skills, and support to see the project through, you're identifying your next, manageable step in getting started: rounding up the tools, information, skills, and support.

Even if it's not your choice (e.g., your boss committed you to do it) — commit yourself to it fully. Recognize that it will be a reflection of you and admit that you care about it. Even if you don't care about the project, you do care about your work and, in this moment, your work is the project. Make it one of your top five priorities. When you make the project one of your top five priorities, you're also — and just as importantly — choosing what's not a priority. If you have too many important things on which to focus, you'll never get to the big long term one. So slash your list until you're left with only five.

I use a six-box to-do list — each box represents one of my top five priorities and the sixth box, labeled the other 5%, is for everything else. That last box shouldn't take more than 5% of your time. One of my five boxes always represents a long-term priority, which, for this year, contains my screenplay.

Now you're ready for the standard advice: Break the work into smaller chunks and make sure you know how to do the first chunk. Set an intermediate deadline. If you need other people involved, get them involved early, as commitments to others helps you take your deadlines seriously.

Finally, decide when and where you're going to accomplish the first chunk and make an appointment with yourself in your calendar.

When you sit down to start your work, you may feel the resistance — fear — come up again. But now you know what it is. Acknowledge it and it'll be easier to move into the work.

There's one more thing. Share your fear. Some people may think you're a wimp. But that hasn't been my experience. Telling others you're intimidated by something you have to do gives them permission to feel — and maybe express — their own fear. I find that people are gracious, supportive, and empathetic.

And that support, it turns out, helps us all get our most important work done. 

How to Work with Someone You Hate

Working with someone you hate can be distracting and draining. Pompous jerk, annoying nudge, or incessant complainer, an insufferable colleague can negatively affect your attitude and performance. Instead of focusing on the work you have to do together, you may end up wasting time and energy trying to keep your emotions in check and attempting to manage the person's behavior. Fortunately, with the right tactics, you can still have a productive working relationship with someone you can't stand.

What the Experts Say
If you work with someone you don't like, you're not alone. The detested co-worker is a familiar archetype. Robert Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University and the author of Good Boss, Bad Boss and The No Asshole Rule, says this is part of the human condition. "There are always other people — be they relatives, fellow commuters, neighbors, or coworkers — who we are at risk of tangling with," he says. Avoiding people you don't like is generally a successful tactic but it's not always possible in a workplace. "Some people are there, like it or not," points out Daniel Goleman, the co-director of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University and author of The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights. Next time you find yourself shooting daggers at the person in the cubicle next to you, consider the following advice.

Manage your reaction
Your response to your dreaded co-worker may range from slight discomfort to outright hostility. Goleman says the first step is to manage it. He suggests that if there is someone who is annoying or abrasive, don't think about how the person acts, think about how you react. It's far more productive to focus on your own behavior because you can control it. To handle your triggers, Goleman advises you practice a relaxation method daily. This will "enhance your ability to handle stress, which means the annoying person isn't that annoying anymore," he says.

Keep your distaste to yourself
While working through your displeasure, avoid the temptation to gripe with other coworkers. Don't corner someone by the water cooler and say, "There's something about Jessica I don't like, don't you agree?" Sutton notes that we all have a tendency to look for confirmation of our own opinions, but we should also resist it. "Because emotions are so contagious, you can bring everyone down," Sutton says. Besides, complaining about someone in your office can reflect negatively on you. You may garner a reputation as unprofessional or be labeled as the difficult one. If you find you have to vent, choose your support network carefully. Ideally, choose people outside the office.

Consider whether it's you, not them 
Once you have your reactions in check, think about what it is you don't like about the person. Is there something specific that sets you off? Is it that she's just different than you? Does he remind you of your father? Do you wish you had her job? Jealousy and other negative emotions can cause us to wrongly assess and mistreat others. "When someone is doing better than us, we tend to scorn them," Sutton says. Differences can make us biased. "Our favorite person in the world is ourselves. The more different someone is from us, the more likely we are to have a negative reaction to them," he says. Focus on the behaviors, not the traits, that irk you; this will help you discern stereotypes from true dislike. "Start with the hypothesis that the person is doing things you don't like but is a good person," says Sutton. By better understanding what is bothering you, you may also be able to see your role in it. "It's reasonable to assume you're part of the problem," says Sutton. Be honest with yourself about your share of the issue. And be on the lookout for patterns. "If everywhere you go there's someone you hate, it's a bad sign," Sutton warns.

Spend more time with them
"One of the best ways to get to like someone you don't like is to work on a project that requires coordination," says Sutton. This may seem counterintuitive since you likely want to run from the room screaming whenever the person is there. But by working together, you can understand him better and perhaps even develop some empathy. "You might feel compassion instead of irritation," says Goleman. You may discover there are reasons for his actions: stress at home, pressure from his boss, or maybe he's tried to do what you're asking for and failed. Spending more time with your foe will also grant you the opportunity to have more positive experiences. But before you sign up to lead the next task force with someone you don't like, remember that there is one exception: "If it's someone who violates your sense of what's moral, getting away isn't a bad strategy," says Sutton.

Consider providing feedback
If none of the above has worked, you may want to consider giving your colleague some feedback. It may be that what bothers you is something that regularly gets in her way as a professional. "Don't assume the person knows how they are coming across," says Sutton. Of course, you shouldn't launch into a diatribe about everything she does to annoy you. Focus on behaviors that she can control and describe how they impact you and your work together. If shared carefully, you may help her develop greater self-awareness and increase her effectiveness.

But proceed cautiously. Goleman says whether you give feedback "depends on how artful you are as a communicator and how receptive they are as a person." If you feel he might be open and you can have a civilized conversation focused on work issues, then go ahead and tread lightly. But if this is a person you suspect will be vindictive or mad, or will turn it into a personal conflict, don't risk it. "The landmine when giving emotional feedback is that they take it personally and it escalates," says Goleman. You also need to be open to hearing feedback yourself. If you don't like him, the chances are good he isn't very fond of you either.

Adopt a don't-care attitude
In situations where you are truly stuck and can't provide feedback Suttons recommends you "practice the fine art of emotional detachment or not giving a shit." By ignoring the irritating behaviors, you neutralize the affect on you. "If he's being a pain but you don't feel the pain, then there's no problem," explains Goleman. This type of cognitive reframing can be effective in situations where you have little to no control.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Manage your own reaction to the behavior first
• Practice emotional detachment so the person's behaviors don't bother you
• Spend time trying to get to know the person and better understand what motivates him

Don't:

• Assume that it is all about the other person — you likely play some part
• Commiserate with others who could be unfairly influenced by your negativity or may judge you for your complaints
• Give feedback unless you can focus on work issues and can avoid a personal conflict

When to Share Sensitive Information with Your Team

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Being the boss means you are often privy to information that your team isn't. You may learn that a major client is unhappy with your service, or that senior leaders are considering outsourcing your team's work. At these moments, it's easy to feel stuck between your bosses and the people you manage. Do you share the information? Or do you protect your employees from it? Whatever the news, it's up to you to decide whether, when, and how to tell your team.

What the Experts Say
There are of course times when you are not allowed to share the news — your company has been acquired but the deal is not finished, or someone on your team is being let go. But there are a whole host of instances when it is up to you. At those times, you're likely to feel pressure from one side or another. "It's very rare people don't want to know the news even if it's bad," says Michael Useem, the William and Jacalyn Egan Professor of Management at the Wharton School and author of "Four Lessons in Adaptive Leadership." But it's important to assess each situation individually and to remember it's not your job to coddle employees. "We're not their parents, we're their bosses," says Linda Hill, the Wallace Brett Donham Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School and coauthor of Being the Boss: The 3 Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader. Telling or not depends on the situation, but these guidelines can help you make the decision.

Know your natural tendency
When it comes to privacy, we all have a preferred approach in our personal lives. Some tend to keep things quiet, while others are more of an open book. In your role as a manager, though, neither end of the spectrum is ideal. "If you're too private and people aren't getting the information they need to do their jobs, you need to get over it," says Hill. But if you're being too transparent — divulging too much information — it can come off as unprofessional. If you understand your biases, you'll be better able to counteract them and find a middle ground.

Question your motives
If you find yourself chomping at the bit to share news with your group or, on the flip side, resisting a conversation you think you should have, question your motives. Are you feeling guilty about harboring information? Are you afraid of people getting mad at you? "Understand your reasons for telling or not and ask yourself if they are legitimate," says Hill. Definitely don't share news if you are simply doing it to make yourself feel better. You shouldn't pass your anxiety on to your employees. At the same time, don't keep quiet just because you're uncomfortable or can't figure out how to deliver the news.

You should also question whether or not your motives are manipulative. Don't hold back information to gain or prevent a certain outcome from your people. For example, Hill says she takes issue with companies that know they have to lay people off but don't tell in the hopes that employees will work hard until the bitter end. Secrecy in this case is deceitful.

Tend toward transparency 
Both Hill and Useem argue that managers should typically be as transparent as possible, especially when it comes to negative messages. "You need to give them bad news if it's going to impact their work or career in ways that are material," says Hill. Telling also allows you to enlist your team's help in solving the problem. Openness builds your credibility, which Useem describes as "cash in your account." Employees will trust that you're going to tell them what they need to know. Then, if at some point, you can't tell them everything, they are much more likely to understand.

Frame it about the future
If you decide to share, make sure your delivery includes a degree of hopefulness. "Frame the news so they can absorb it and do something about it," says Hill. Useem concurs and says that leaders have a responsibility to show people what the path forward is. For example, if you need to tell your team that you lost an important project bid, you can say something like, "While this is definitely bad news, we are going to double our client development efforts and work towards securing three smaller projects by the end of the year. You can help by reaching out to your network and reporting any leads back to me." Useem says that no matter how bad the news you need to convey optimism. Of course you don't want to give anyone false hope. "Overstating the likelihood of success can lead to disappointment later on," says Useem.

But don't over share
Also realize that total transparency may be unnecessary and overwhelming to your employees. Resist the temptation to share news when you don't have complete information and to delve into details when it will cause more harm than good. "People have a hard time coping with probabilities on the down side," says Useem. Instead of hearing there is a small chance of the negative outcome, they are likely to panic and assume it's a done deal. Hill agrees: "You don't need to share your entire thought process with people."

When to keep your mouth shut
There are also times when you are not at liberty to disclose information because of corporate policy, or a directive from your boss. In these cases, if you feel your employees should know the news, challenge the rule or decision by talking to upper management and making the case for telling. But without permission from above, don't go against policy. You could put your job at risk.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Ask yourself why you want to tell or not and assess whether it's a legitimate reason
• Lean toward being transparent if possible
• Frame the news so that people know what they can do about it

Don't:

• Hold back information because you aren't sure how to deliver it
• Flout company policy if you want to share something you've been asked not to
• Give your team every detail about a decision — tell them just what they need to know

WORLD'S MOST ADMIRED COMPANIES

For the 50 most admired companies overall, FORTUNE's survey asked businesspeople to vote for the companies that they admired most, from any industry. Rank Company 1 Apple 2 Google 3 Berkshire Hathaway 4 Southwest Airlines 5 Procter & Gamble 6 Coca-Cola 7 Amazon.com 8 FedEx 9 Microsoft 10 McDonald's 11 Wal-Mart Stores 12 IBM 13 General Electric 14 Walt Disney 15 3M 16 Starbucks 17 Johnson & Johnson 18 Singapore Airlines 19 BMW 20 American Express 21 Nordstrom 22 Target 23 J.P. Morgan Chase 24 Nike 25 Goldman Sachs Group 26 PepsiCo 27 Caterpillar 28 Cisco Systems 29 Costco Wholesale 30 UPS 31 Nestlé 32 Intel 33 Toyota Motor 34 Exxon Mobil 35 Volkswagen 36 Best Buy 37 Marriott International 38 Samsung Electronics 39 Deere 40 Netflix 41 Wells Fargo 42 Honda Motor 43 DuPont 44 Yum Brands 45 eBay 46 Sony 47 General Mills 48 Oracle 49* Accenture 49* Lowe's